The Sensitve Men in Colombia

Colombia, and more specifically BQ, is filled with sensitive men. By this I do not mean Phil Donahue types. I mean men who take stupid things personally. My wife understands them. I do not. A little story, complete with dialogue...

Every morning, before the sun comes up if I have work, I walk Dinky. To walk Dinky requires: a ride downstairs in the elevator, leaving the building, walking Dinky, picking up some poo, walking some more, returning to the building, being let in, riding up in the elevator, and finally re-entering the apartment. My building has three doormen who work shifts and alternate the night/early morning shift every day. Their names are Davison, Nargel, and Antonio. Antonio is the only one with a normal name. He is, however, not a normal person. He is a 56 year old Costeno Sensitive Man.

On the mornings when Antonio is on duty, without fail, I have to wait to be let in, because he is doing something, also, without fail, there is a blue liquid floor cleaner in pools on the floor from the door into the elevator. Elevators are small, confined spaces. So, a week ago or so, I asked Antonio if he could please wait, as a favor to me, to pour that stuff in the elevator until I have gone upstairs with Dinky, cause Dinky sits in it and tries to eat it, and in the confines of a small room like an elevator, it's hard to control. He seemed to have a hard time understanding what I was saying. So, I restated, could you please wait five minutes to spray that stuff in the elevator, because Dinky thinks its a melted blue-raspberry snowcone.

Good, I thought. Problem solved.

This morning, I was walking Dinky as usual, and when we returned, there was Antonio, who told me, "I spoke to the administrator of the building, and I am supposed to clean the elevator."

"Yeah,"I said. "I'm sure you are. I would just like you to wait five minutes to dump that stuff in the 'vator."

So he leaves and gets the stuff, the blue stuff, in a big plastic milk carton with the word floor cleaner written on it with a sharpie. "It's for the elevator, too." he said.

"I'm not asking you not to clean the elevator. Just to wait five minutes until I am upstairs to pour this stuff on the floor of the thing."

"Sometimes you're gone more than five minutes."

"Ok. ten minutes. Could you please wait ten minutes to pour that stuff on the floor."

"The administrator wants me to clean the elevator."

"You could spend the ten minutes mopping up the rest of the blue stuff and then spray it in the elevator after I go up with my dog." Antonio was starting to get teary-eyed, and confused. "I am the only person up at that time, and it would be nice to not ride in the elevator with my dog with pools of blue stuff."

"The administrator said I'm to clean the elevator. Snifle."

Now I am no longer entertained at all. "I'M ASKING YOU, AS A FAVOR, LIKE A PERSON, LIKE A HUMAN BEING, TO PLEASE WAIT UNTIL I AM UPSTAIRS, THAT'S ALL. I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE BUILDING AT THAT TIME WHO IS USING THE ELEVATOR. PLEASE."

snifle

"HOW OLD ARE YOU?"

"Me? My age? I'm fifty-six."

"Ok. please. You are a man. I am just asking you a favor. Please. One man to another. Please. If your bathroom there was broken and you needed to use one and you asked me to use mine, I wouldn't have to make sure it was OK with the administrator, I would say, 'Of course, Antonio, I would be happy to do you a favor."

"Sometimes you are gone more than five minutes."

"YOU ARE A FREAK!" I stormed out of the lobby, with my dog.
I told my wife immediately, and she said, "He thinks you're criticizing him, and he's taking it personally."

"Well now I am criticizing him, for being an idiot."

And now I must clean the blue spots off my dog's ass.
ciao for now.
FppInternational