Saturday, December 24, 2005

O Christmas Tree





I have located the greatest Christmas tree in Barranquilla. So have many of the Barranquierros.

Every year at this most blessed time [please feel free to interpret that tone of keystroke however you see fit] the elite of BQ take it upon themselves to decorate their homes in the most, hmmm, wow, adjective.....
noticeable manner possible. This usually runs the gambit between the sublime and the obscene, and this year is no different. Walking home one day from work, on a different route from my normal Carrera 59B, I came across a tannenbaum, which, of course, this being the tropics, is no tannenbaum, but man o man is it a Christmas tree. Usually, I go for the photographing of the decorated palm trees, with the red-lit testicular coconuts swaying in the wind to the strains of "White Christmas" playing out of a massive loudspeaking, meant for salsa not carols, but this year, I encountered the greatest Christmas Tree of all time, something to make that sickly pine in Rockefeller Center take a step back and say, "Well, shit. Now That is a Tree!"

Bear in mind these photos were all taken at the same private residence, while buses pulled up to unload unwashed masses of pilgrims who normally would be shot on site in this part of town. But then, this is the season of giving and even we who live in the North, in Villa Country, can allow El Pueblo a couple minutes to reflect on all that we do for them. Just stay the hell off the grass, Dammit!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Riding around town in cabs




My new hobby is riding around town in cabs, drinking rum, and hollering at the drivers, "Pedro, get my imperialist ass down to 'El Centro'," or "Pablo, if you can force this guy on the scooter up on the curb, there's an extra hundred pesos in if for you." Anyway you look at it, I am abusing my easily earned local currency, insulting locals and causing further environmental damage through pollution. All before many people on the west coast are out of bed. The army ain't got nothing on me. Here are some photos from driving around town; I think you will find they are up to my usual standards of mediocrity.
Buy today and recieve, at no cost to you, as an added bonus, a glimpse into one of the least understood and most horrifying club experiences in Colombia, a disco where you watch the bottom halves of geriatric dancers under a protective cover of palm fronds. It is the new celebrity honeymoon video.

I want to embrace technology, but...





I want to embrace technology, but it keeps slapping at my hands and hollering "sober up." My weak attempt at blogging has thus far been indeed demonstative of my lack of dedication to anything technological. Be that as it may, I recently made a little voyage to the deep dark of the fishing village of Tangaga and have virtually nothing to report. The skies were blue. The sea was clean.
I forgot my camera when i went snorkeling, but here are some photos anyway, to let you know what Taganga looks like, in case you have to demonstrate some sort of Tagangan knowledge in your next cocktail conversation ("Oh, of course I have spent some time in Taganga, the Colombian fishing village [remember to always pronounce Colombia with two O's and no U's, if you make this mistake the heinous bastards will know you are lying and throw his/her Cosmopolitan in your face, or worse, a mint Julep] fifteen minutes from Santa Marta, frequented by hippies and yelping street dogs.)

Sunday, December 04, 2005


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December. 4th . The first post





Fpp Here.

Reporting from Barranquilla Colombia.

As this is the first post it will have very little info, just an intro to where Barranquilla is, and a couple pictures from the last few weeks.


This is a recent pic from our gringo halloween party, which was a multicultural event focusing on uniting people of varying cultures and furthering a more avanced understanding of Latin American culture through the exchange of ideas based on the norms of varying social gatherings. That and we got all messed up and at least three people barfed, and a mirror was broken, i believe. Eventually a plastic jack-o-lantern became the target of a lot of kicking and was smashed to a mess of little plastic pieces. It wasn't my apartment.

Things will advance, as they do.