Hearts of Darkness in the Southern Hemisphere, Day III

The Adventure in the Amazon continues with a morning paddle into the shiznit. The guide said, "we're going to go look at some lilly pads." Awesome. Lilly pads. Ok. Whatever, it's early and I just ate a bunch of eggs. I'll go look at some Lillypads. Lillypads were the least of what we saw.

Nothing says "wake up and breathe in the morning freshness," like fire ants and screaming monkeys.

FPPInternational Sports editor LaFlaca was good enough to shoot some footage of me paddling us through the jungle, and I was good enough to paddle. And since my Sony Vegas software went kerplunk and stopped working about six months ago, I edited some of the video and pics together using a trial version of a piece-of-crap software that I downloaded. I did not care for the program at all, but I did like the little video, so I uploaded it, even though it has that goofy title "purchase now" BS throughout.



Really, though, this was one cool paddling adventure, unlike anything else I have ever done. The sense of being absolute away from everything that one knows is positively thick in the air. Alice never made it this far into Wonderland and the Mad Hatter would have been positively aghast and in a tizzy, rabbits and cats being the least of his concerns.

Bienvenidos alla jungla.

After the paddle back to the pad and a lunch of fish (of course), we went out and caught some piranha, using little cubes of beef on hooks on sticks with four feet of fishing line on them. The deadly little buggers flipped around in the boat like farts in skillets (to quote my grandmother) and were consumed at dinner.

The vicious little monsters have virtually no meat on em at all. But eating a piranha is like reading "The Most Dangerous Game" with a class of eighth graders. General Zaroff's bed is indeed soft and we do not remember having ever had better digestion.