News Haikus 21, Rock of Brain Damage

Who woulda thunk that CC Deville would NOT have been the first member of poison with bon-a-fide brain damage?
Well, honestly, we don't know that that's not the case, we only know that right now, Bret Michaels is all brain-damaged up, which is too bad if you are his mother or ... ... ... insert cricket noise ... ... ...

Honestly, I have nothing about Bret Michaels. I really couldn't care less. But, as a bald sommbitch, his whole bandana thing is a little tired. Does he shower with the fucking thing? Even Micheal Stipe gave up the ball-caps for a smooth scalp (of course he started wearing dresses and stuff immediately after that).
Anyway, although this is apropos of absolutely nothing preceding it, my pal Chili and I once decided, beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt, that EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN is the worst song ever recorded in English. and so, Bret Michaels having brain damage is really not news worthy.

So, sorry reality TV, sorry other guys in Poison, sorry CC Deville, your muse is now wondering how to get that pesky square peg in that round hole. Are you really surprised?

Haiku...
Damn glam rock suckers
Who will defend our spandex
rights at old folks home?

News Haikus 20. The Damned Swiss Again

I know it's been a while, but I have been preoccupied with repairing the damage of the damned Swiss.

Just when I thought it was safe to be a Swiss-American, Ben Roethlisberger goes and molests a woman, again.
Damn it, Ben, some of us are still living with the stigma of the Grimm-Hoffmann Affair, WWII Nazi banking, fruity panted dudes guarding the Pope's digs, and Renee Zelleweger.


Now we got this jackass to deal with. I tell, ya, folks, the Germans, Japanese, Americans, and French got it easy. This joker's antics have made the Swiss the most hated people on earth. Thank God we've still got those little red knives everyone needs.

By the way, speaking of the Pope guys, as soon as I'm not employed by the Catholics, it's time for a papal/boy haiku.


Now give the Seahawks their 2006 superbowl rings, goddammit.

HAIKU...
Big Ben, a true gem,
Has been getting fan mail and
Thank you's from Kobe.